Blogging Parents » parenting

Scolding Without Shouting

Jacaranda — Sun, 28 Mar 2010 15:04:14 +0000

There’s a question of concern from a husband and wife about their 3 year old daughter who constantly is trying to get her own way ,no matter what. They try to talk to her at a level that she understands, but she turns and regresses into a baby-like attitude when scolded about her behavior. Is there a way to discipline without reverting to shouting?

I try and blog about my personal experiences too as a parent and at the same time look for other mother and fathers’ experience too regarding the same topic.

As of this writing my 4 year old son is getting scold at a number of times a day. I know it’s normal for a healthy child to be naughty. I feel bad every time I raise my voice to him.

Shouting, humiliation (you’re a bad girl) and spanking don’t teach anything but fear and shame. Try finding opportunities on a daily basis for legitimate praise of her behavior. Don’t call her a good girl for doing something you like anymore than calling her a bad girl for something you don’t like. Comment on her behavior or accomplishment, e.g., “I really appreciated how nicely you picked up your toys. What a big help that was.” Think about the ratio of praising to scolding; change it so it’s always heavily weighted in favor of praising.

You can also offer her choices of behavior that are all acceptable to you but seem to offer her some power in choosing, e.g., “You can stop doing X (a negative behavior) now and we can play Y, or you can talk like a baby until you’re ready to tell me you want to be three again and play Z.” Sometimes just breaking the rhythm of what isn’t working ushers in a chance for both parents and child to create a new, better way of communicating.

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Mother’s Milk A Lifesaver For Preemies?

Jacaranda — Sat, 11 Apr 2009 05:25:08 +0000

I read an article from cbsnews just now and there is no doubt that I have to re-post it here to spread the word, the information to other parents about preemies.

Here’s what I read:

Kathie Robinson is thrilled that her daughter Naomi, born 2-1/2 months early, is well enough to be home. But her family isn’t complete – yet.

“Here we are, we’re still going through the journey,” Kathie told CBS News contributing medical correspondent Dr. Sanjay Gupta.

It’s been a difficult journey for Naomi’s twin brother, Caldwell. He’s had three operations and remains in a neo natal intensive care unit. Kathie and her husband Whit believe that giving him breast milk, even through a feeding tube, is helping him recover.

“You can’t be there all the time so it was my way to be able to be there for them all the time,” Kathy said. “I’m providing for them.”

Kathie is part of a new program at UC San Diego Medical Center that encourages mothers of premature babies, even babies who can’t swallow, to commit to breastfeeding rather than formula. It’s not easy.

“It’s hard for them,” said Dr. Lisa Stellwagen. “They’re sick, they’re tired, they’re often afraid their baby isn’t going to survive.”

Only 45 percent of preemies go home on breast milk as compared to 74 percent of full-term babies. Doctors here believe that for babies born weighing only a few ounces, human milk means the difference between life and death.

“The premature infant is experiencing one of the worst nutritional crises in their life,” said Dr. Jae Kim.

It’s a crisis on two fronts. These tiny babies expend huge amounts of energy fighting life-threatening illnesses while at the same time doctors are desperate for them to gain weight.

“If we were trying to put on the same amount of growth as the smallest premature infants that we’re dealing with, it would be something on the order of two or three pounds per day,” Dr, Kim said.

Mother’s milk may be as important as all the technology in the NICU.

“We’re just starting to discover the power of what’s in human milk,” Dr. Kim said.

So it’s good for babies, that’s understood. But there’s still some mysteries here. For one, not all breast milk is identical, even if that breast milk comes from the same mother.

So part of the program here involves analyzing the nutritional value of each mother’s milk – and the results have been surprising.

“We’re seeing a lot of variation based on whether she pumps in the morning, or at night, or depending on the day she pumps, we’re seeing a 20-30 percent difference in her samples,” said Dr. Charles Sauer. “For a preterm baby that can be a big difference.”

One huge difference the program has made is a significant decrease in one life-threatening complication of prematurity – a gastrointestinal infection called necrotizing enterocolitis, or NEC. Of the half million premature babies born every year, between 5-10 percent of them develop it and a third of those die.

Before this program started, the rate of NEC in this hospital was 5.8 percent; last year it was less than 1 percent.

“The more human milk they’re exposed to, the more reduction in complications such as necrotizing enterocolitis,” Dr. Kim said.

Meanwhile, the Robinsons continue to bring breast milk to Caldwell, believing that it will help get him home sooner.

“If there’s anything a mother can give to her children it’s the nutrition, and support to help them grow and develop,” Kathie said. “It just brings everything full circle.”

Update: Katie Couric reports that Caldwell has just come home from the hospital, and we are told he and his twin sister Naomi are doing well.

3 Things To Practice of Being a Parent

Jacaranda — Mon, 30 Mar 2009 01:58:41 +0000

Being a parent yourself is never so easy. You’re thinking of many things of raising your child or children. You never want to have mistakes on teaching them new things and explaining to them what they still really don’t know on this spinning world.

Yet, being a parent is a wonderful experience, from bearing your child from fetus to growing pains in the a$$. You also learn from them and it’s never been an ending experience. Until you’re a grandparent, and that’s a different story.

Here are 3 things to practice from day one of being a parent:

1. Never fail to give praises. Whenever your child does something right, you should praise him or her to let her know you appreciate what he’s or she’s done. In that way, he or she will be fond of doing right things and in the same way making them happy doing those. Surely, they will always wait for your compliments after. And with that also, your child will never want to commit mistakes as much as they could.

2. Know his/her potential. In your everyday interaction of child-parent relationship. You can distinguish what field your child excels. Knowing that, you should enhance whatever it is for them to have mastery of what they love. For example, you can see that he/she loves to sing, find time even every hour a day where you can let him/her hear different kinds of music and sing with it.

3. Let them be. Meaning, let them be what they want to be. As related on the above discussions, do not force your child to do what you want from them but let them do what they really want. Knowing their potentials, you must not hinder them from what they love to do and you must not also give them frustrations as a parent. In fact, you should be the one who’ll encourage them and who’ll let them explore in growing up. Otherwise, who else would? You know what’s best for them and you also don’t want them to get wrong ideas from their peers. Though we really can’t help it but we parent were also there to guide them consistently.

Hello Folks, Hello world!

Jacaranda — Mon, 09 Mar 2009 11:27:00 +0000

Welcome to Blogging Parents. This is the first post. Nothing much to see here except this hopefully warm welcome to new visitors.

We will be posting articles and stories here about parenting and stuff so please do visit us again.

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